Osbourne to Reveal New ‘Fairer Deal for Struggling Millionaires’ in Budget

PicsArt_1394047965152 (1)Gideon ‘George’ Osbourne, is set to use his budget today to announce a raft of new measures to ensure that millionaires are given ‘the fair deal they deserve’.

Responding to pressure from the public to decrease the burden on the country’s richest, who have been hit hardest by the recession that has gripped the economy in recent times.

The measures include a top-rate tax cut from ‘some’ to ‘whatever you damn well feel like’, a reduction in National Insurance contributions for employers of butlers, chauffeurs and high-class escorts, and a huge cut in import duty on Bollinger and cocaine.

"It's the bankers I feel for most, thankfully George is on the case."

“It’s the bankers I feel for most, thankfully George is on the case.”

We took to the streets to gauge public opinion, with Steve Archer, a former factory worker who was recently made redundant, telling us; “I think it’s fantastic. As we all know, wealth is unfairly distributed on this country, with deserving members of the elite, who have worked hard all their life to inherit their daddy’s business, being constantly drained by work-shy chances who claim they can’t work as postmen due to having no arms or summat. It’s brilliant that George is doing something about it. Maybe this will make those feckless chancers in wheelchairs get off their arse and start grafting for a change.”

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